Thank you Tom Ridge; Color-coding makes everything easier - not too mention a little more cheerie! ‘You may be in great danger, but isn’t it a pretty color!’ It reminds me of a segment from Robin Williams HBO special (the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen in years, in case i haven’t mentioned it), he was talking about the current state of affairs.. “so John Ashcroft holds a press conference and announces, ‘We don’t know where, we don’t know when, but something terrible is going to happen.’” At least Colorado isn’t taking it personally. Instead of entering into the customary collective state of paranoia, they have made it clear that there is no specific threat to anything in Colorado. Then in the next breath they “reassure me” that they’ve beefed up security in public facilities, specifically Park Meadows Mall (where i work). - But, hey.. war / schmwar, let’s not let that distract us from other important issues, like what a Whack-a-doo Michael Jackson is!
Oh, by the way, he personally made a comment in my blog! Seriously - check the comment posted to my last entry! Yes, of course I think it was really him!
Anyway, my boyfriend who is oblivious to current events as a general rule, asked me what the most disturbing part of Thursday night’s program was. I was hard pressed to single out one particularly disturbing element of the most disturbing thing I’ve ever witnessed. Finally I decided it was the day after the infamous infant dangling incident, when he was explaining that it was “something [he] did out of innocence,” (whatever) and he was trying to get said infant, aka “Blanket,” (whatever) to take his bottle with his head covered with something sheer, and the baby was starting to cry so daddy dearest was bouncing him maniacally saying “Why would I throw a baby off the balcony?” (what the fuck?!) Yes.. this was the high point and/or low point depending on how you look at it.
Actually I’m kinda feeling a little let down that the show is over. But fortunately there’s another one on the way, “Michael Jackson, Behind the Mask,” airs Monday night on NBC!! Kinda makes them look like a bunch of copy cats, but hey I’ll be watching! Oh my god! Somebody should really jump on this, like VH1 or the Sci-Fi channel.. A reality show! Let’s follow Michael around All The Time! The ratings would blow The Osbournes out of the water! [Apparently they're sinking anyway, and sadly, I can see why now that it's become the Jack & Kelly Osbourne show. I hate those fucking kids!]
Anywhoo.. this has all inspired me to steal an idea from one of my other favorite websites, Televisionwithoutpity.com. Periodically, I’m going to provide a review of “the coolest fucking thing I’ve seen on tv lately.” For my first installment:
“The Virtual Corpse” (HBO) - This mind boggling documentary explains in gorry detail how they went about creating a 3-D database of the human body. Sounds pretty cool so far right? And it was clinically fascinating to learn how they first cut the frozen cadaver into 4 pieces, then into 2000 (not exaggerated for affect) slices! -bllehhck! Each slice was thoroughly digitally photographed then ground up. That’s a-frickin’-mazing… and SO gross! They did this at the University of Colorado, by the way. (of course they did. all freaky shit takes place in new jersey or colorado.) This in itself would have made for very educational viewing. However they decided to also include a back story about the lethal injection recipient who made this all possible. We got to hear the convicted murderer’s sad story from his brother & wife who were choking back their tears. And, oh yeah, his wife turned him in never imagining he would get the death penalty. And we heard the prison chaplin explain how he manipulated the guy into believing his only shot at avoiding hell was to do something that might help people after he’s gone! Jesus tap dancing christ! What the hell is wrong with people in Texas?! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to the death penalty, but I don’t really want to get emotionally involved with folks on death row. m and I once somehow, I have no idea how, ended up on a website for the Texas DOC and found that you can read a report on like everyone they have executed, including details of their crime, their picture, and even what they requested for their last meal!! It was totally morbid, but we were transfixed for like an hour, mostly reading what they had to eat.
So that was the coolest fucking thing I’ve seen on tv lately, except for the Michael Jackson thing which goes without saying.