Princess Glenda

..and so do conspiracies. And i am going on record right now and saying that I am not buying this Elizabeth Smart business – there is something very fishy going on! Of course I never believed the original account of her disappearance in the first place. According to the little sister, the man told Elizabeth to put her shoes on and Elizabeth asked him ‘why are you doing this,’ and they walked out quietly, and she waited until morning to tell her parents?!? What? Why would they not have been screaming? What little girl wakes up with a man in her room, even if she recognizes his voice which just seems even more suspicious, and doesn’t scream her head off? The kitchen window screen was cut out, but police said they don’t believe that is how the ‘kidnapper’ got in or out. And could the dad be any more smarmy? The whole family seems a little strange, but maybe it’s the mormon thing (wait a second, i don’t know for a fact they’re mormons, i’m just assuming). I just never thought any of it added up, so I suspected the parents, naturally. I pretty much always suspect the parents, or the husband when it’s the wife, etc. But, for the record, I do not believe it was the parents in the Ramsey case -no, i have no reasonable alternative theory of the crime, i just don’t think they did it. So i am capable of keeping an open mind where these things are concerned. But come on.. the younger sister just suddenly came up with this guys name a couple months ago? Hmm.. was that before or after the guy who was originally railroaded, oops, i mean accused, had a brain hemmorage and died in prison? Oh, and by the way.. his widow was quoted today as saying “it is a joyous day for us and the Smarts.” Shouldn’t she be too busy filing suit for wrongul arrest, wrongful death, pain & suffering, and about a dozen other things? And first I heard that they were caught during a traffic stop, then on an episode of 48 hours that they slapped together in 48 minutes, they said they found her walking down the street; either way she was 20 frickin’ miles from home!?.. with this reportedly strangely religious guy -tho in Utah i’m not sure how you could tell. But the dad just keeps going on and on about this being an answer to prayer, and thanking god and everybody who prayed. And all anybody can talk about is how wonderful, joyous, miraculous and joyful it is. Hello?! Am i the only one with unanswered questions?! First and foremost, what the fuck is going on in Utah anyway? Utah and Florida just need to be.. i don’t know.. surgically removed! Utah would be hard to get rid of, so maybe we can just relocate all the residents to Florida and then build a wall on the sourhern border of Georgia. And my second question.. why did god answer the prayers for Elizabeth Smart but not those for all the other missing people, why are they so special? Nevermind the months of exhaustive investigation and media attention, lets just chalk it up to a miracle from god. But what really bugs me is for a few days people will be eating up the Elizabeth Smart – Miracles Do Exist story [that quote is courtesy of her uncle, thank you very much], with as much sappy sensationalism as Stone Phillips can squeeze in and then it will go away and I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!! My only hope is a made for tv movie, which will be completely slanted and embellished, but maybe they can get Brittney Spears to play Elizabeth (i don’t think the offers have been rolling in for that “Crossroads” follow-up so she would probably consider a small screen opportunity.). It would make a classic installment for ‘the coolest fucking thing i’ve seen on tv lately!’
Perhaps it is inappropriate for me to be speculating and criticizing, trivializing, and generally being completely insensitive, but hey.. i’m a victim of media manipulation and completely desensitized so whatta ya gonna do? My only consolation is that as a victim of media manipulation, i have an extremely short attention span and a year from now I won’t even remember who Elizabeth Smart is. Jeezus i’m jaded!

Posted: Wednesday, March 12th, 2003 @ 11:06 pm
Categories: Rants.
Tags: Britney Spears, Elizabeth Smart.
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