Okay, I have waited so long to do this that I am completely over-frickin’-whelmed! So much has been going on! I am so far behind. I mean the “war” is over now, and my last post still says, WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?
Hahahahaheeheehahahaheehee! - but that still cracks me up!
So maybe I should just briefly touch on lots of things, in no particular order, then maybe later I can revisit the really annoying ones in more detail (of course we know this is unlikely to ever happen):
A. The Ducks swept the fucking Red Wings! That is like the coolest thing to happen in hockey - maybe ever! The Red Menace is out! I won’t even mind too much if the ducks go on to take out the Avs (i said too much), because they did the impossible. They didn’t just beat ‘em - they swept them! It was amazing!
B. [which demonstrates this list is in no logical order..] The playoffs are underway and it is the absolute best part of the season! Especially the first round - there are games everynight, important games, and they are all broadcast! The players are at their best, the fans are in a frenzy, it is totally intense all the time. Hockey is the greatest game on the planet!
3. The TV season is winding down, which I actually find quite annoying since everybody is in re-runs for no apparent reason. It’s like one week of new shows, two weeks of old. Don’t these people get like millions of dollars per season For what? 12 whole episodes? A friend, whom I’ll simply refer to as “Diabeticus” -his super villain name, who is one of the few people I know who watches as much tv as I do, was discussing with me, what’s the best tv on tv currently. But he’s a big 24 fan and I watched it for two weeks in a row recently and my god it sucked, and he doesn’t watch Alias, so we just agreed to agree that “So Graham Norton” was the winner.
1. “RELOADED” - May 15!! I went back to #1 because this should be at the top of ANY list! Enough said. [except that i am SOOOO excited about this i can't stand it!]
Next: Elizabeth Smart ran away!
Finally! The truth comes out! Unfortunately it’s in the National Inquirer so nobody will believe it. But I knew something was fishy all along. Otherwise, WHY did it disappear from the media so fast? huh?

Lastly but not leastly: I could write pages and pages just recounting my harrowing return flight from Phily last month but here it is a condensed version.
Flight departs on time at 1:45 pm (already sounds a little hard to believe). It is totally full, I’m on the very back row, in the middle (basically your worst case scenario). One hour into the 4 hour flight (doesn’t it only take 5 to go to L.A.-what is the deal?), people in the middle of the plane notice a problem they report to flight attendants, who actually have some one come from the cockpit to check. Then the captain announces that we will be landing in Ft Wayne, Indiana. There has been some strange “bubbling” occuring on some of the overhead compartments, and some passengers have reported a strange odor. — What?!
As we begin our descent, things get really really bumpy due to bad weather over the entire mid-west. After we made several sudden drops of a few hundred feet, I’m thinking this seems like a bad idea. Then I see for myself the strange bubbling as it had continued to spread. A few rows in front of me there was a section in the middle of the overhead compartment door, about the size of a pancake only more oval, looks like it is kind of melting. freaky! so after another half an hour of bouncing we land only minutes before the storm really hits. We had to walk from the big plane into the little airport in 45 mph winds and a torrential downpoor. We were met by firetrucks and a team in haz-mat suits (okay.. that was actually kind of exciting). i won’t bore you with all the back and forth and mis-information that followed during the next SEVEN hours!! i was actually pleasantly surprised i didnt spend the whole weekend at the Ft Wayne Best Western. They just kept telling us they were bringing in a new plane for us, but apparently they don’t have extras just sitting in the garage. When we finally got out of there it was on a plane with absolutely no services. No bevarage cart, no pretzels, notta! And the flight was three hours, in addition to the 45 minutes we sat on the runway first. A flight attendant guy was feeling sympathetic I guess and started passing out dixie cups of tap water from the bathroom.
It was fairly miserable. And of course, we will never know what caused this little malfunction. But needless to say, I’m staying on the ground for awhile.
That’s why tomorrow we’re driving to “Four Corners” - the point where Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico all meet at perfect right angles, to be in four states at once. Pretty exciting, eh?!