Since I got off on the wrong foot by talking about Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes in my first post, I figure I have set my standards (and your expectations) very low - so why stop there. I actually read most of an interview with Tommy boy in the “Parade” magazine section of the paper on sunday. He was on the cover with the headline, “Tom Cruise asks Who’s to Say What’s Normal?” So really, how could I resist? It was Tom talking about how he was raised near the poverty level and beaten by his father until his mother finally left him, and he was beaten up by bullies and got terrible grades. He was diagnosed with dyslexia, but being labeled in that matter only traumatized him further which is why he hates psychology. Whatever! And i’m reading this and thinking if it was anybody else, I would feel some level of sympathy. But coming from him it’s like watching a Tracy Gold movie on Lifetime where you just can’t take it seriously! Come on, Dude!? Are you kidding me? You’re going for sympathy now? Oh wait, now I get it… “they’ll stop calling me crazy if they find out I had a rough childhood.” Or, “maybe people will stop focussing on my sexual orientation if I tell them I was born a poor black man.” I bailed out before he got to the part about how scientology saved him and how it was really all Brooke Shields’ fault, so I’m not sure how the story ended. But I just gotta wonder what color is the sky in Tom’s world? In the middle of all this, my friend shows me this picture of Katie..

OMG! WTF? Somebody stop that woman, she’s stealing soccer balls! Then we spent the next half hour speculating… Okay, maybe she was pregnant but clearly she would have had to deliver before now so what’s with the watermelon? Another theory.. okay, she was pregnant but again, the gestation period for aliens can vary. [I'm picturing that scene from "V" when the lizard alien baby pops out of the woman hissing at everyone.] Or maybe.. okay, we know they said she was preggers way back around the “war of the worlds” release, but we want to make sure that the birth coincides closely with the “mission impossible 3″ release so inflate that fake belly a little more. anywhoo.. i find it quite frustrating that we’ll never know what really happened. even poor little alien baby, Hubby, will never know the truth surrounding his/her/its conception. Then again, as someone slightly famous (just don’t ask me who) once said.. The Truth Is Out There. I suspect waaaaay out there!

Oh yeah, in other news.. Eminem filed for divorce 82 days after re-marrying his psycho ex-mrs m. poor marshal. it’s so hard to believe too, it seemed like such a good idea! and he looked so happy at their 2nd wedding, with kim in her black mini (how appropriate).

i heard he already adopted the kid she had in between their two misfortunate marriages. i hope he signed a pre-nup this time, or at least got a 90-day warranty.

Now, prepare yourself for the frightening statue of   giving birth!

Yikes! Like subjecting the world to “Po Po Zao” wasn’t cruel & unusual enough! I will spare you from the other side.

Hey.. what ever happened to social services investigating the Spederline family, and little Sean Preston’s driving lessons on Britney’s lap? I hate not getting follow-up!