Wow, there’s been a lot going on! It started with the birth of the little alien baby, to Tom & Katie (I’m sorry Tom, I know she’s a “child-bearing woman” but the woman wants to be called Katie, she should be called Katie. Besides calling her Kate does nothing to close the age gap or make you look less creepy). And Brooke Shields giving birth on the same day is some freaky universal twist of fate, the planets must have been in perfect alignment. It’s totally setting up some science fiction prequel for a good vs evil scenario for Tom’s good friend Steven Spielberg to make a movie about in the future.
And let’s see, Angelina Jolie as the most beautiful person in the world, boy People Magazine really went out on a limb with that one! Oh, and the whole little Brangelina clan, “The most beautiful family.” How many baby seals DID Jenifer Aniston club to have such terrible karma. I mean, I think I would die! Or at least pull a Cat Stevens and just disappear - Yoseph Aniston has a nice ring to it don’t you think? And did you see Angelina on Today, or Extra, or Dateline, or everything else? The woman has like no make up on and a rag on her head and she’s stil gooorggeouuss! It’s really just frickin’ rediculous.
The most exciting recent development, however is the Sheen-Richards-Locklear-Sambora love-hate quadrangle. I guess we know who the “family friend” who sent the email to Heather to predicate the split with Sambora. And I’m pretty sure Denise Richards is coming out on the bottom of this one. I mean if you’re in a situation where you’re making Charlie Sheen look like the mature, reasonable one, it’s time to fire your publicist, your lawyer, your image consultant and maybe your pharmacist! Regardless, it’s sure to be fun to watch for us star-gawking, bottom-feeding, rubber-neckers! I’m stating for the record now, I’m on Team Sheen.
In the meantime I’m wondering if some old native american man touched Nicole Richie on the face and said “thinner.” She’s like the incredible shrinking woman! Somebody please give the girl a cheeseburger!
In the world of politics, Spanish radio stations are playing “The Star-Spangled Banner” in spanish! Or is it “God Bless America”? Either way, it’s bound to get the red states all crazed, and the purple ones too, basically its not gonna be good for business. And I heard the president is going to give everybody $100 bucks to help pay for gas! But how is that going to work? $100 bucks per person? per family? or per car? Clearly it should be per car? But isn’t that discriminating against people who ride the train or bus, when really if we all took the bus or train we wouldn’t be in this mess! Didn’t “W” ever play Sim City? Anyway.. $100 is like a tank and a half of gas for most people at this point. I’m not one to turn down free money, but what’s the point of that? I bet we have to pay taxes on it!!
