“Star Magazine” took a poll to find out who currently ranks as the most hated celebrities in Hollywood. Their results are below:

#8 Charlie Sheen
#7 Russell Crowe
#6 Alec Baldwin
#5 Nicollette Sheridan
#4 Star Jones
#3 Kevin Federline
#2 Paris Hilton
#1 Lindsay Lohan

Okay, there are so many things wrong with this list I’m not sure where to start, so let’s break it down..

First why only 8?! A list like this should have a minimum of 10 and it’s not like there aren’t enough worthy candidates. Honestly, they probably could have made it the 100 Most Hated Celebrities without too much trouble. If People could expand their annual list of the Most Beautiful People to 50, a list of ugliness should be at least twice as long.

Now for #8.. I think you meant Mrs. Charlie Sheen!!? Sure, he’s a boozy, man-slut, degenerate gambler - he’s Charlie frickin’ Sheen! And he’s not the one who drug out the dirty laundry for all of us to sort thru! He’s not the one carrying on with his former best friend’s spouse! So I’m changing #8 from Charlie Sheen to Denise Richards.

#7 Russell Crowe… why? Because of the phone thing? Who hasn’t wanted to hit somebody across the counter at a hotel, an airport, a bank, pretty much anywhere, every day, with a phone? Sure he has some anger management issues, but I think that’s actually the most interesting part of Russell Crowe’s personality. Other than that, he keeps to himself. I’m not sure why he even made the list.

#6 Alec Baldwin?? Who?? Why? I believe Stephen Baldwin is the one who went all churchie and tries to get totally legitimate porn shops shut down. Alec?? Oh wait, is this a political thing? He’s too right wing and probably keeps his publicist very busy, but it’s not like he’s giving young boys wine in coke cans. I must have missed a scandal or something.

I can’t really comment on Nicollette Sheridan, I know people hate her and she denies having her share of plastic surgery, which is utterly ridiculous. But she’s a dog lover, which earns point and while I’m not a Desperate Housewives watcher, Teri Hatcher & Marcia Cross seem waaay more hateable. Then there’s Star Jones… no way I’m defending that one. No, I didn’t have a stomach bypass, I lost more weight than Oprah but I did it overnight, ’cause I’m Star Jones. Ugh, okay maybe she should be on the list, but she should be like #34; and speaking of Oprah, I know I’m in the minority but I’d rather see her at #4.

K-fed at #3. Don’t get me wrong, I hate him, everyone I know hates him but the problem is this ranking gives him too much credit as a “celebrity.” He’s really nothing more than an unemployed, back-up dancing, sperm donor to celebrities. I mean, if it wasn’t for Britney we wouldn’t even know who this yokel was. So basically, he hasn’t earned the right to be on this list.

Paris Hilton, I have tried to make it a policy to not acknowledge the existence, let alone the celebrity of this.. umm.. Yeah see, I can’t do it, I can’t talk about her, I can’t feed the beast. I can only hope that she is pissed that she wasn’t #1.

Which brings me to #1. And, in spite of my last post I have to say I find this shocking and completely just wrong. I mean, yeah, Ho-han is annoying and slutty and, on the fast track to Betty Ford and her complete downward spiral. But Hollywood’s most hated?! Hardly! Maybe a bunch of people went to see “Just My Luck” this weekend and it really, really, sucked (I feel that’s a safe assumption) so they wanted revenge. No way has Lindsay Lohan earned this title yet. Give her another few years and we can renegotiate, but for now she should be somewhere in the teens.

But the biggest problem I have with this list by far is not who is on it - it’s who is not… two words…

Tom Cruise!