I’ve had requests for a “review” of the Fall Finale of LOST so I recovered it from my Recently Deleted folder on the Tivo to watch it again, because honestly the first time they LOST me in the “previously on” segment.. apparently I had blocked it out before when Ben Henry told Jack about how two days after he found out about his tumor a spinal surgeon fell out of the sky, but then his wonderful plan was “shot to sunshine” when Dr. Jack saw his x-rays and found out he was dying; and Jack said “you want Me to save your life?” and Ben Henry said, “I want you to WANT to save my life!” to which i said, Bwwahahahahahahahaha! If anyone who likes this show thought it had some premise based in logic, I certainly hope finally they see that unless they crashed on Bizarro Island, where it would make sense for somebody to deceive, threaten, imprison, and torment you in order to make you WANT to save their life - this show makes no fucking sense!! Oh wait.. i just figured out Ben Henry’s plan, he was trying to give Jack Stockholm Syndrome!! Yes! it makes far more sense to beat him into adoration and loyalty rather than just going to the alleged other island and telling Dr. Jack we can provide you with shelter and water and food to help you out in this difficult time following your plane crash, and then when you’re feeling up to it I really need you to perform surgery on me to save my life. I mean Dr. Jack was willing to patch everybody else up, I’m sure if you had just asked nicely, he would have fixed you right up. But what the hell????? Who is writing this shit?!! I’m sorry, I just really have trouble getting past that… I want you to WANT to save my life. Fuck Me!! And here’s what’s really going to bake your noodle later… when Jack agrees to do the surgery (only because he’s devising a plan to break up Kate & Sawyer), he tells Ben Henry that he has to give him his word that he will get Jack the hell off the island, and Ben Henry says “done.” here’s a thought….
HOW ‘BOUT YOU GET YOUR OWN CANCEROUS ASS THE HELL OFF THIS ISLAND AND FUCKIN’ HAVE SURGERY IN A FUCK HOSPITAL IF IT’S SO EASY FOR PEOPLE TO COME & GO?!?!!!
Do I really need to go on?… I certainly can… ok here goes…
Nice wig Kate Monica! By the way, is her back story set in 1974? it kind of looks like it. And did anybody else notice that the conversation she had with the FBI guy on the phone was straight out of “Point of no Return” with Bridged Fonda? “just let me go.. i really love this Serenity guy.. i don’t want to run anymore. wah,wah,wah… yet she did run, you’ll notice. She always runs! that’s what Kate Monica does! except of course she just had sex with Sawyer with the cage door OPEN!! OPEN - as in ideal for exiting!
and i don’t buy this i’m not running because there’s no place to go bullshit from Sawyer either. how ’bout you go someplace where they don’t make you break rocks and beat the shit out of you everyday?! the crazy french chick (the new crazy french chick) seems to do ok, and that guy who was in the cage with you the first day (presumably the crazy french chick’s boyfriend that she thinks is dead), took off and we haven’t seen him come back in a body bag. seriously, wouldn’t you rather swim for it and potentially get eaten by sharks than deal with this? i would. besides, you’ve survived two gsw’s, and still managed to get laid twice, so you’ve obviously got some stamina on your side, Sawyer James, i say run!! but this is not the most disappointing thing Sawyer James did in this episode… “I love you too.” ????? whatever! (more character assassination please) so girls, now you know what you have to do to get the bad boy to change his ways and fall in love with you… take him on a trip, sabotage the plane, but make sure you both survive the crash, then be a pain in his ass for two months, and bingo! oh, but make sure you bring a razor, because no matter how bad things get, you need to make sure you do not have hairy armpits. yes, writers of LOST, every woman in america noticed that Kate Monica miraculously did not have hairy armpits - and we all want to know her secret.
i am so angry right now, i may as well continue… i don’t know know if this happened everywhere, but we happened to get three minutes of “The Nine” right in the middle of this episode, yet somehow we didn’t lose any of the show. i’m sure they want us to believe this was some kind of technical difficulty, but i’m fully aware it was just a stall tactic, because even with 25 minutes of commercials and 15 minutes of back story they can’t fill up a whole hour of programming! hence the need for a “fall season finale” and a 3 month hiatus.. and you thought we were getting nowhere before !!! really bad idea, btw, when “criminal minds” has had higher ratings for the past couple weeks as it is.
should i also go into things like the really angry other, i think his name is Gary, saying something about “Shepherd wasn’t even on Jacob’s list.” ? who the fuck is Jacob and why wouldn’t Jack be on their list - he’s the doctor and mr. popularity!? and when the crazy french chick shows up they yell “how’d she get over here,” and later they tell Ben Henry “we took her home last night,” get over here from where? took her home where? the other island?? so you have a boat? then why don’t you leave??! they throw shit in there like that to make you think there’s more to it than there is — BUT THERE’S FUCK NOT!!! we know there’s not, does anybody believe that there is??
and for the record… why haven’t we seen Sun & Jin (if those are in fact their real names) since the failed rescue attempt when, btw, Sun SHOT somebody?! and what’s up with Sayid,..? “well, we tried to save Jack, Kate, and Sawyer but we kind of sucked at it so never mind, they’re on their own.” not that anyone has asked! what the fuck is wrong with these people?!! and Locke is all mystified because he sees the top of Ecko’s jesus stick has, “lift up your eyes and look north” on it, but he doesn’t lift up his eyes or look north?!
ok, now i’m TOO angry, so i have to stop. this show makes ER look like quality television, even since they’ve resorted to penis jokes to try and compete with Grey’s Anatomy. god i wish Dr. Kovach would transfer to Seattle Grace (of course he would sleep with Meredith, that hooker, and that would be annoying)! and if you think i’m gonna watch Taye Diggs in some Ground Hog Day from Hell scenario for 12 weeks you can kiss my ass! thank god “Medium” is back! and if you think i’m the only one who’s angry, check out this post called, How LOST Is Ruining My Life.
i’m thinking of contacting her to pursue a class action suit! in the meantime asta la vista, LOST!
ps: btw, way to ruin your own cliffhanger and spoil any suspense by showing Kate Monica & Sawyer James running away in the previews, guess we don’t have to worry about him getting shot or her not getting away. idiots!
