well, this week, finally two stories have brought me out of my self-imposed celebrity gossip semi-retirement (no, it’s not paris hilton going to church, that’s god’s problem); it’s two budding romances.
first, and i was in denial about this for about 24 hours, joey & amy are getting back together! and please don’t say joey & amy whoooo? did you live under a rock in the early 90’s?! i did.. it’s called new jersey, and only the strong survive. it may however be a half-step up from long island, home of amy fisher, long island lolita / amateur assasin, and joey buttafucco, auto body extrodinaire / hammer pants wearer.
NOW do you remember? (man! the years have not been kind to old joe!) here’s the official scoop with my commentary in [brackets]:
First it was reported that Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher were splitting from their respective spouses; now the infamous pair are planning to reunite in what is expected to explode into a very profitable reality series. [This might make "Flavor of Love" look emmy-worthy!]
Freshly out of a California jail having served time on weapons charges, Joey Buttafuoco is reportedly planning to dump his current wife, Evanka, to make a grab for the girl he had an adult/child affair with in 1991.[Of course he denied it at the time, then later admitted it, then claim that unlike Mary Jo, who was shot in the head, he would NEVER forgive Amy. Supposubly Evanka is devastated - but hopefully by "devastated" she means relieved.]
The reunion is to be filmed by a TV producer as Buttafuoco and Fisher meet in a Central Park restaurant for a hopefully romantic candlelight dinner and they hope to make the reunion into a reality show.
Joey is “very happy” about the reunion, reports the New York Post. I still have feelings for her,” Buttafuoco says. “I can’t wait to have dinner with her. I can’t wait to be with her. I can’t wait to touch her.”
i still suspect this will fizzle - the tv show and the “relationship.” they couldn’t even find an audience for the confrontation a couple years ago b/w amy, joey, and mary jo. we’ll see. and i will keep you posted, and i will be calling this ongoing saga, “ButtaFisher.”
second, and i’m so sad there are no pictures yet, but soon my children, soon you will be seeing pictures of hollywood’s hottest new couple… are you ready for this?? i don’t think you are…. there’s just no delicate way to put this…
CAMERON DIAZ + CRISS ANGEL
i know right… EEHWWWWWW!
ok.. i really don’t like cameron, she’s just so trailer trashy, but WHAT is she thinking?!!? i’m no timberlake fan either, but talk about a downgrade. it would be like me marrying some mexican guy. [no offense intended to anyone - that's just an inside joke]
anyway, here’s what my favorite gossipy blogger, The Superficial, said about it today:
Cameron Diaz and magician Criss Angel were spotted together in Las Vegas last night, getting dinner at the Bellagio’s Prime steakhouse and then catching a Cirque du Soleil show. A witness says:
“They were snuggling with each other and he was making her laugh. They seemed really happy.”
I bet at some point during the night Criss Angel took off his top hat and pulled a bunny out of it. Man, those magicians have all the moves. Sure, I’m super good looking and charming, but how do I compete with pulling a super long handkerchief out of your pocket?
that guy cracks me up! personally i haven’t decided if this story is more funny or more icky, but i will be following it closely.
EDIT: hey.. i just realized.. i didn’t live in jersey in the EARLY 90’s. i lived there in the LATE 90’s. i guess it only SEEMED like i was there for a decade!
