It’s been a rough week for the famous..

britney got a nasty dent in her mercedes when she hit somebody else’s mercedes and got charged with a hit & run. then she lost all visitation rights to her kids. then she ran over some poor paparazzo’s foot who will no doubt sue her even tho i think he totally faked it. my mom ran over my foot once when i was in jr high and i can tell you from experience you don’t walk away without a limp which this guy apparently did. anywhoo, since we have taken away her mommy license at least temporarily, can’t we take away her driver’s license permanently?? seriously.. do we have to wait ’til she kills somebody? how come all these bitches get their licenses suspended, get caught driving with their license suspended, but still get their licenses back??!! who is their insurance carrier??

speaking of bitches who shouldn’t drive… how the hell does kiefer sutherland have a license which allowed him to get his FOURTH DUI??? seriously?? what the hell is wrong with you? your career is going inexplicably well. apparently people don’t seem to mind that it’s completely preposterous that one guy who can’t act has been called upon to save the world, or at least the country, five separate times now and he always manages to do so within 24 hours. so if you’re going to be a pathetic alcoholic can’t you just do it at home?! i’m sure the bimbos would come to you. or, here’s an idea… l i m o u s i n e, you’re rich you drunken idiot! anyway, too late now, you’re going to jail.

then there’s ellen.. ellen, ellen, ellen. all i’m going to say is shame on you ellen. but i guess it was bound to happen, you’ve gone the way of rosie - and i’m not referring to the lesbionics - i’m referring to the the ugly-celebrity behavior, using your influence to flout the rules (which are designed to protect homeless animals for chrissake, not to inconvenience you) and get your way no matter who suffers and gets threats of arson. consider this… how guilty would you feel if some whacked-out fan was to really go thru with it and burn down the shelter killing several animals? you were irresponsible and just plain wrong. is it really worth all this??? ellen you are so ON NOTICE! and i suspect there’s no going back, and Dead To Me is only days away.

finally this David Copperfield thing that is unfolding this morning i suspect is going to get really ugly. the stories are so vague and varied, including charges of rape and sexual torture, and millions of cash in his vegas warehouse. very odd! dude, please don’t do anything to make criss angel look better.

then on the other side of the celebrity coin is the scandal-free Stephen Colbert! go Stephen!! go South Carolina! go and support your favorite son! it’s Colbert in 08!