The World Series of boredom

i watched six (6) baseball games in their entirety in less than two weeks. the last two of the boston/cleveland series and all of the world series….

and all i have to say is, thank god the red sox swept because i couldn’t have taken any more!

ok, so that’s not really all i have to say(of course).. it was impossible not to be swept up in baseball fever here. it was the biggest thing to happen here since….. ok, ever. (nevermind that the local hockey team competed in and won the stanley cup several times and that was barely a blip on the local news, but whatever.)

first there was the 22 out of 21 game winning streak – then there was the ticket sales scandal – then there was the series itself against the underdog boston red sox who came back from being down 3-1 in the series against the indians. so yes, it was the kind of thing sports legends are made of and impossible to ignore if you lived here, but i don’t know if that justifies or even explains how we ended up watching whole games… looking back now, i don’t know what that was about. i honestly, really, truly, did not care who won, but still i watched.. i watched in total, over 24 hours of baseball. wow!

and while there were more moments of excitement than i would have expected, and i learned a lot about the game, and the two teams, and the idiots on the two teams – did the mlb win ME over as a fan???

oh god, no!!

why not, you ask??? (i know you didn’t ask but humor me) because, baseball is sooooooooooooo boring!! every other pro sport has a penalty for “delay of game” – not baseball. omg, throw the f’ing ball already!! but i realize, before he can throw the f’ing ball the dumbass with the bat has to step up to the plate. omg, step up to the f’ing plate already!! you were just there, you didn’t even have to swing at the last one, the pitcher thew a ball, it was so far off you didn’t even have to think about swinging, so WHY for the love of god do you have to step back, take a break, then swing the bat over your head and shake your ass, can i get ya a cup of coffee while we wait? just stay in the damn batter’s box!! and you with the ball and the big fat paycheck, just throw the ball again! quit shaking off the pitcher’s calls, stop stretching your neck and spitting, are you calling your broker while you’re out there? stop worrying about what the guy on first base is doing, if you would hurry up and do your job he wouldn’t have time to steal a base. THROW THE DAMN BALL!

so here’s my suggestion, you need two different “shot clock” type situations. you need a clock counting down that gives the batter 10 5 seconds to get up to the plate then resets and gives the pitcher 10 5 seconds to throw the ball. i was going to say 10 each but that’s way too generous, i mean this is all you do, you get paid millions to do it, what do you need to think about?? it’s not rocket surgery!! and if the batter takes too long, he gets a strike; and if the pitcher takes too long, the batter takes a base. done! the game goes from 4 hours to about 2, and it would be higher scoring too because of all those people getting walked in (kind of like game 1, 13-1, ouch!) and fans like that.

but even if this was instituted, i don’t think i could hang, because during one of the eternal-ass games that i watched the annoying broadcasters were talking about the big news in baseball that day being “a. rod” passing up a contract extension that would have paid $240 MILLION over 4 years or 8 years or something (hell even if it was over 30 years that’s a lotta fucking money)… he and his agent felt he could do better on the open market! are you kidding me???? god i hate these greedy bastards! and people in denver want to bitch and moan about the ticket scalpers! please!!

then there’s rockies star, todd helton.. the fucktard was interviewed before the series started asking him if he was excited, yadda, yadda. stupid question of course, but his answer.. ‘yes, but i really hate that i’m missing out on hunting season’. i’m paraphrasing but that was the gist. omg, i don’t even know where to start with that, but you’re a dick sir, and i have to say i’m not sorry you lost.

bottom line.. clearly boston wanted it more and/or it was just a fluke that the rockies got there at all, but whatever…

congratulations, red sox!

Posted: Sunday, October 28th, 2007 @ 11:09 pm
Categories: Hockey, Random Crap, Rants.
Tags: .
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One Response to “The World Series of boredom”

  1. t Says:

    i’m impressed that you watched that much baseball…

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