blerg is also what i have to say about being a month behind in blogging! blerrg!! here’s the problem, house hunting took over my life. it was a miserable experience overall i have to say. i thought several times during the process that i should have started a whole new blog about it, but it would have been too stressful for me to write, and justkeeprenting.com would be no fun for anybody to read. long story short.. if all goes well (that would be a BIG IF btw) we close on the 30th.

and speaking of people who have no shame, here’s something else i almost missed..

this was taken after the miss usa pageant or something where his girlfriend / contestant, who you’ll notice is ironically wearing almost no jewelry at all, didn’t win and he went off. he yelled at everybody including donald trump – that part i’m ok with – and made quite a spectacle of himself. actually i’m ok with all of it.. knowing that criss angel’s downward spiral is officially underway makes me feel all warm inside!

what i didn’t miss is, “there will be milkshakes.” i mean, “there will be blood.” and just to state the obvious, Daniel Day-Lewis ROCKS!

i’m sure there’s lots that i have missed lately.. i wish i would have missed the end of rock of love II – ugh! so here’s the overdue, abridged version of my opinion on the whole train wreck.. with everything we learned about daisy, she’s been on her own since she was 16, her idiot boyfriend convinced her to become a stripper at 19, he got her knocked up, she got an abortion, she ALMOST has an excuse for her behavior and for her life. Ambre on the other hand was raised by a good ole’ southern family who taught her some values, she’s a big phony, who’s MY AGE for cryin’ out loud which means she’s old enough to know better than to run around lookin’ like a hooker and showing a washed up rockstar her couchie on tv!!
anyway.. i think he didn’t choose daisy because he knew she really WAS in love with him and ambre was just there for shameless self-promotion and he wanted to be able to get out of it asap. how else could he justify rock of love III ?! L-A-M-E !!watched the reunion tonight and i was proud of denver daisy for speaking her peace, and for being right about it. unfortunately that hellion heather made it impossible to get a straight answer out of bret by beating you about the head repeatedly. that dick sucker whore bag! anyway, i’m just glad it’s over; i feel cleaner, the sky seems bluer, the air seems fresher. besides i’ve moved on… i’ve watched a couple marathons of past seasons of america’s top model! it’s actually a lot less lame that i would have expected, and i’m pretty sure i now know everything i need to know to become a super model, which would probably make buying a house much easier, having a much bigger budget and all!

i’m sure there’s truck loads more that i did miss.. feel free to fill me in. i’ll be busy moving.. =( BLERG!!

WTF?! Dude, when your image consultant said “you should probably get yourself a beard,” this is not what they had in mind!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

[photo courtesy: OhNoTheyDidnt]

ok, that might be an overstatement.. more accurately i’m taking a knitting class. it’s two hours this evening and two hours next tuesday. we’ll see how it goes…

btw, there has been tons of legal drama surrounding britney in the last two days – restraining orders, accusations, disputes over who the conservator of her estate is, and even who her actual attorneys are at this point. but i’m off the britney train (wreck), at least for now. i hope the girl is getting the help she needs.

what?!! i’m not completely without compassion! geesh!

– you didn’t think i was going to talk about the presidential primary did you?
(i’m not even willing to say “go o’bama,” because, let’s face it, sometimes my support is the kiss of death. but i am NOT taking responsibility for the patriots, they survived my bad juju three previous times so clearly it’s giselle’s fault!)

first, from page 6 of the new york post, apparently people in the food service industry maintain a database of notoriously bad tippers, appropriately called the “shitty tipper database,” on bitterwaitress.com on which you’ll find David Lee Roth, Cohutta from the real world sydney, and lots of other just plain, unfamous people. but who ranks as “the worst ‘celebrities’ to wait on”?.. “Scandal-scarred bounty hunter Duane “The Dog” Chapman.. and his wife“!! awesome! they reportedly dined at tgifriday’s in honolulu w/a party of 6, the tab was just over $250, the tip a 10 spot! classy!

according to one bitter waitress, “They are very high-maintenance, they expect to be given the celebrity royalty treatment, treat service industry people like slaves . . . and give less than 5 percent.” Chapman could not be reached for comment. I’m surprised they still go out in public!
[okay, on a side note and in NO way to defend the chapmans, the lowest tip i have EVER left was at that VERY SAME tgi friday's in honolulu. the waitress was HORRIBLE, really rude when she was around at all! at some point she literally flung the "doggie bag" container of food we asked to take home on the table as she walked by without even slowing down. so when we fiiiinally got the check we rounded up to the next dollar, literally leaving her nothing but change. and as we were almost out the door she walked up behind us and yelled, "don't you want your change?!" omg! we were so pissed! we told the manager, he apologized, yada yada. then we found out from a friend of a friend who worked there that the waitress from hell had given notice, and that was like her last weekend, so she just didn't give a crap. but that means, i know that the dog didn't have to deal with her, so there's likely no excuse.]

second, speaking of the chapmans going OUT in PUBLIC.. from the Andrew Luster Justice Forum (andrew luster is, the max factor guy who dog and his sick puppies bounty hunted in mexico to make a name for himself. but bounty hunting is illegal in mexico so the dog, & the perv, & i think leland got arrested, then ironically jumped bail, and you know the rest of the story..):
“ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVE, NEW ‘DOG’ SEX SCANDAL”
– Tim Chapman Prior Sex Offense Conviction Revealed
– Tim Chapman admits to indecent exposure charge.

ooooh, this is gonna be good, i can tell:
“The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively that Tim was previously arrested and charged with indecent exposure to minors and adults. He was jailed after being observed masturbating behind a tree while watching four young women play tennis in Colorado… After pleading “guilty” and then “no contest” to the charges, Chapman skipped out on court-ordered community service [he SKIPPED?! really?! just like the "scumbags" he "apprehends" now. interesting!] before being jailed on Jan. 7, 1988. He was released on Feb. 23, fined court costs of $88 and was ordered to perform 24 hours of community service.“

so mr. pervy mcmastrubator has a record.. shocking! it goes on to report, “IN A HANDWRITTEN APOLOGY letter to the court, Chapman wrote: “I have learned a lesson and do not plan on seeing the inside of a jail ever again…Since my crime, I have been married, and I love my wife very much. I cannot explain why I did what I did, but I can rest easy knowing that I have worked out my problem through my wife and Jesus Christ.” Tim is currently separated from his second wife, Davina.”

so now, except for any future bad press, i hope its safe to say we’ve seen the last of the chapmans! they’re jesus’ problem now!

hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

now the question is… do i have an overactive sense of schadenfreud?
wait… do i care? hmm.. nope, i’m already going to hell so what’s the difference?!

so i had to take a sick day and a half earlier this week – i was back on my back but apparently CRAZY never takes a day off! a friend called at like 2 in the morning assuming i would be up on britney watch, i had however taken some advil pm and fell asleep lying on an ice pack and missed the whole shubang – the drama, the tears, the shrieking, the police, the ambulance, the manic-depressiveness of it all. i slept thru “total meltdown II” aka “5150 2.0″

but as most sequels, it seems much less exciting.

surprisingly, as far as i know, she’s still in the looney bin at this point with that sam fellow calling the shots.

we’ll see how it goes…

PS: i once slept thru an actual hurricane in hawaii; so sleeping through hurricane britney is no big deal i guess.

she was in the car with that sam lutfi guy, former manager slash hanger-oner, as they approached her house she suddenly got out of the car crying, carrying her poor yorkie named london (Brit must have got that british accent from the dog), and uncharacteristically asking the paparazzi to leave her alone, which of course they did not. she sat down on the curb crying, supposubly called Adnan, her boyfriend slash stalker, begging “baby, can you come pick me up.” but before he arrived she had gone inside and when he got there he was denied entry. he tried calling all SIX of Brit’s cell phones but no luck. he was getting text messages from Sam that because he is a “manic trigger” for Brit he needs to leave her alone. [ah-ha!! that's intervention speak.] so the police were called to the premises either to get him to leave or to get all the paparazzi to back off because of course they were swarming and so were the helicopters by now.

oh! funny story… last time the choppers were overhead, nearby neighbor, george clooney said he thought there must be some escaped convict roaming the hood. he was a little concerned. then when he learned his proximity to britney’s house, he was a lot concerned, he apparently had no idea and reportedly is now planning to move – soon!

anyway.. back to the crazy.. so it had already been reported that Britney’s mom, Lynn, and dad, Jamie (hence the name and fate of poor little, Jamie Lynn Spears) were both in town – odd since Brit has had nothing to do with either of them of late. well, they were both at her house, as was her best friend slash cousin, Alli.

so personally, i think it’s INTERVENTION time! and obviously they wouldn’t want Adnan, the leech slash bipolar-enabler to be there. tho apparently they did eventually let him in – i’m guessing they caved in to Brit on the issue, which does not bode well for their intervention technique – plus they took her to Long’s Drugs and while I personally really miss shopping at Long’s Drugs, I’m pretty sure you can’t get PROZAC over the counter, at least not yet. so we’ll see how it goes…

oh.. funny story.. turns out jeff vandickhead, one of the primary interventionists on the show “intervention,” is not even an addict — he’s just a churchy!!! he got his training at some church program! what a crock! and i thought i couldn’t hate him more. but that does explain why he seems drunk himself half the time.

–you didn’t think i was going to discuss the presidential address did you???

anyway, after all that, i couldn’t even sleep last night so what’s the point?!!
but i have to say that today is the first day i’ve felt human in like 9 days. i just made my own tombstone pizza! yay, me!

seriously, i have been astonished and disgusted that one could experience so much crippling pain without first having been hit by a truck, or using a ramp to jump over a cabin on a snowmobile then falling off the snowmobile, crashing to the ground and having the snowmobile run over you. (sorry, i’ve been watching a lot of tv “on demand” and i got caught up on “SCARRED” – idiots!)

but nope, you just have to get old. so i’m considering a chiropractor when i’m more fully recovered and even {gulp} excercise to reduce the risk of a repeat incident. and i have one friend who says its caused by stress and inner turmoil and that landmark education could fix me right up. but i think i’d rather {gulp} exercise.

by the way, britney must be taking at least one of the same drugs i am because while i couldn’t sleep last night i did have a nearly uncontrollable urge to go on a nude shopping tirade like she did the other day.  see life & style weekly for the whole story. but i didn’t see that listed on any of the potential side effects…

oh and the latest britney news… her and her stalker turned boyfriend were shopping for pregnancy tests today at rite aid. check it out on People Star Tracks..

FANTASTIC!!

in the meantime, dog the racist bountyhunter’s pervie partner, tim “youngblood” aka “i’m a perv” chapman was arrested for indecent exposure aka jackin’ off in the parking lot of the ala moana center in honolulu. –hey, i used to work at that mall!!–

the official story is this:

Police and prosecutors said security guards recognized Chapman from the realty television series “Dog the Bounty Hunter” when they responded to a report of a man in a vehicle fondling himself at a parking lot at Ala Moana Center at about 9 p.m. yesterday.

Police said the guard instructed Chapman to put his clothes on and step out of the vehicle.

He then jumped to the front and got in the driver’s seat and turned toward the security officer, said Jim Fulton, spokesman for the city prosecutor’s office. He allegedly accelerated the truck and jumped the curb onto the sidewalk.

The security guard had to jump out of the way, Fulton said.

Chapman, 42, was initially arrested on suspicion of second-degree attempted murder and indecent exposure.

His lawyer, Brooke Hart, said the incident was a misunderstanding.

Hart said Chapman spilled juice or soda on his pants and went to the back seat of his truck, which has dark tinted windows, to change his pants when security guards started yelling at him to get out.

He said Chapman, to avoid negative publicity, made the mistake of attempting to drive away. Hart said he had no intent of terrorizing or threatening anyone.

“It was simply a man who wet his pants with orange juice inadvertently and was changing them, doing nothing wrong at all and believing he had sufficient privacy to do it,” Hart said.

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

i have to say if it wasn’t coming from a chapman i would find that to be a perfectly plausible story.. i mean WHO HASN’T had that happen?? you’re enjoying a day at the mall, spill orange juice all over your pants (who walks around drinkin’ oj, btw?) and rather than mop it up and laugh it off you go to your vehicle to change into your SPARE PAIR OF PANTS (who carries a spare pair of pants, btw?), then when mall security approaches because they’re suspicious about what your doing in your vehicle (because why would you bother going to the restroom to change?) WHO HASN’T tried to mow that bastard down?!! story makes total sense!

dude, beth is going to kill you!!

But I got this from ohnotheydidn’t:

Britney Spears went “completely psycho” as she was rushed to L.A.’s Cedars-Sinai Thursday, a source tells Usmagazine.com

“They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics,” the source adds, calling it “a total psychotic breakdown. She just went crazy.”

Another Spears pal tells Us: “I guess she has good days and bad days – it’s mental instability. All she has is to think of something sad and she goes crazy.”
After she defied court-mandated visitation hours Thursday night by refusing to turn over her two sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline, police were called to her home and later a reportedly intoxicated Spears was rushed via ambulance to L.A.’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

and i got these from them and from TMZ..

Wow!!

finally somebody posted on ohnotheydidnt there’s live feed on fox’s LA affiliate:

http://media.myfoxla.com/live/2

the only sound is the camera man in the chopper, not broadcasting, just babbling, and bitching, he’s quite the comedian.

so here’s what we know.. k-fed sent his bodyguards to pick up the kids at the scheduled time per the custody arrangements, reportedly 8pm pacific. britney refused to surrender them, so popozao called the popo as any concerned papa would. apparently in the 3 hours that followed the shit hit the fan!

paramedics were reportedly providing medical attention to someone inside and all that’s on cnn, headline news, fox news, etc. Obama, Iowa, Caucus, Caucus, corn, Caucus.. WHO CARES??!!

eventually they wheeled somebody out on a gurney, allegedly the pop train wreck herself, then allegedly they carried a child into the ambulance too. [i saw the gurney for myself, but not a kid being carried.] the ambulance had a hell of a time pulling away from the paparazzi who literally chased it on foot for blocks. morons!

so far all that’s been said and i assume its speculation is that she’s been taken in for some sort of emergency psych eval.

damn, i’ve now blown my self-imposed, new, school night curfew on day 3! thanks a lot, britney!

you may be able to get the official story and related video on the L.A. Fox website.

Update (or lack thereof): 8 AM mountain time.. WTF? eleven minutes in to the news and nothing??? when did america stop caring about britney?!