by far the best comic movie ever! (sorry, brandon) and i’ve never particularly been a batman fan and always found christian bale pretty creepy. but its better than superman returns, and transformers – and you know how much i love brandon and my optimus prime! but it’s a fact..

and i’m gonna stop now because i realize i was among the last 30 or 40 people to see the movie so you all ready know this.

btw, the heath ledger thing, also not hype and not just because he died. he was riveting, amazing, outstanding, phenomenal, wow!

ok, the truth is, as tony soprano would say around superbowl season, “this is my busy season,” so something’s gotta give and blogging is among the first to go, followed closely by sleep and personal hygiene (just kidding – mostly).

PLUS, since i posted that hideous picture of scary man rourke, everytime i come to my own blog i get scared and i have to go take more of my homemade prozac and take a nap.

besides, there’s been a serious lack of blog-worthiness “stuff” going on in the world. let’s see…

in tv, we’re just counting the days, or the episodes rather, until we’ve run out of new material, which really sucks. especially since Heroes JUST got back up to par after a very slow start. this week’s episode was AWESOME!! with noah getting shot in the eye and all. m pointed out that we love noah so much because he’s our new “spy daddy.” just like jack bristow, back when Alias was good, HRG protects his own with a vengeance and perhaps more importantly, he gets shit done! he doesn’t stand around whining about it, he just takes care of business and is not afraid to pull the trigger. except suddenly when it comes to mohinder.. omg i hate mohinder! it was my friend j’s suggestion that they should shoot him, bring him back to life, shoot him, bring him back to life, shoot him, bring him back to life, repeat as needed until he stops being so fucking gullible dumb! dude, how many people did you help sylar kill?? i hope sylar gets his powers back and eats your brain for breakfast, oh and i hope he eats the mexican good & evil twins’ brains too – they’re so annoying!!! whaaaaah! my mascara runs and kills people! tho i have to say if we spent 6 weeks watching them run for the border, and wtf is taking so long btw, just to have them end us as sylar-snax, that will be pretty annoying too. but it all needs to happen in the next two episodes because that’s it! that’s all she wrote – literally!! i’m really going to miss 30 Rock too, but survivor and amazing race have been fairly entertaining, which is good because reality tv is soon to be the ONLY tv. bhleck!!

next, movies – i got nothin’, not much time to watch movies lately. saw The Departed for the second time now that its on hbo. it was much easier to follow the second time and therefore i liked it even more. it is such an awesome gangster movie. love all those boston boys! oh and finally saw 1408 – “blockbuster exclusive” my ass! it is actually sincerely scary – not the whole time, not the whole thing, but more than most. there’s been lots of good stuff in theaters lately but who has that kind of ca$h? but at least there will be decent rentals in 4-6 months, which is good since there will be no tv and no drive in.

as far as gossip goes.. dog’s still a racist, criss angel is still a douche, and britney is still bat shit crazy! and i honestly haven’t heard anything about anybody else. except of course standing in line at the check out when i always get updated on how angelina lost a baby and brad has been sneaking around with another woman while jen is still sending him psycho ex-girlfriend type emails. hmm… maybe they’re just the only three celebrities not currently in rehab.

that’s it, that’s all, i got nothin’ else…

well maybe it will be an exciting turkey day. although when i think of thanksgiving i don’t particularly think excitement, i guess we’ll just have to wait and see…

then i went to check and see what cinderella had planned for their next to last weekend to see if we should be going there instead while we can and they were planning so crazy comedy show with men in drag performing on the roof of the snack bar (no i’m not making that up). since i was sure i wanted nothing to do with that, i double-checked 88 for showtimes & such and they had posted this:

CLOSED FOR THE SEASON–SEE

YOU IN THE SPRING!

WTF?! how do you just close for the season six weeks early with no warning?? they had coming attractions posted for chrissake!! now their coming soon page says “Coming soon: SNOW” – it’s still nearly 90 everyday!!

what is wrong with these people?? and i can only assume that cinderella is probably closing a week earlier than anticipated as well. but i have to tell ya, it has made me totally ok with them closing. i’m sure i’ll miss it eventually, but at this point.. whatever!

For years, rumors have circulated that the drive-in was being sold and that “this is its final year”.It seems that finally, that may be true. While we are not 100% sure this will be our final year, we are 95% sure.Plans are well underway to begin building anapartment complex here this fall.
Something could still delay or cancel that project but it isn’t very likely. We who operate the drive-in do not own it and have no control over it being sold.
All we can do is tell you that we feel it has a very good chance of not being here after this season. So come out often and enjoy it while you can.
We plan to be open weekends through September. Beyond that, it doesn’t look good.
If the situation changes, we will update this message immediately.
———————–

oh no!! knowing this you would think that we would be there every weekend, sneaking to multiple screens, etc. but not so much.. we went last weekend because, like i said, we feel a little obligated at this point because we only have a few more weeks, and we know we’ll miss it next year when don’t have the option, but it was a half-hearted attempt (although we did spend a bunch a money at the snack bar). maybe that’s because as i mentioned it’s been quite a dump this season. I think we’ve only been there about 4 times this season. maybe it’s because 88 drive in has assured everybody they are not closing, so we’ll still have the option. but we’ve only been to 88 twice this year i think, but i kinda want to go this weekend to see the new Halloween. but 88 is totally like the small town drive in, one screen, they’ve got these weird doors on the bathroom stalls, and they make you honk the horn to start the movie. then again, they do have funnel cakes.

anyway… could this be the end of the drive in for us??? only time will tell.

let’s see what’s been going on??… we’ve been to the drive in a couple times. once to see, i now pronounce you chuck & larry, which is a movie about how two homophobes learn tolerance for gays while making gay jokes constantly. i don’t know, maybe i just couldn’t get past adam sandler as (1) a hero fire fighter and (b) a successful man-whore who has a parade of women who looked like they just stepped out of hustler magazine in his apartment wearing lingerie. the whole happy gillmore gang was there, but adam may want to be careful casting kevin james as his supporting actor because kevin is waaay funnier than him. anyway, while i didn’t care for it and only chuckled a few times, our friend monica thought it was hysterical so to each his own. the second feature that evening at the lovely cinderella twin drive in which is becoming more of a dump every week was transformers, which was awesome again.

then we went to see the simpsons movie which was really, really, really funny! i had my concerns, especially when i heard it got its pg-13 rating for “full frontal nudity,” but even the split-second scene where you see bart’s “doodle” is quite well done. the second feature that night was the transformers, which was awesome for the third time, BUT then we got screwed. the very convoluted schedule for screen 1 on the website that night said that it was the simpsons, followed by transformers, followed on friday and saturday only, by harry potter and the chocolate factory or whatever.

now, i had previously never seen any of the harry potter movies. i had tried watching them once or twice on cable but fell asleep or found something better on at the same time that wasn’t three hours long, or something. however, we figured at some point due to scheduling at the drive in(s) we would end up watching it and didn’t want to be completely clueless. so a few weeks ago we had a muggles fest and watched all of them (except the second one, “chamber pot of secrets” i think, because it was not available), in one weekend. let me tell you.. that was a lot of warlockery! i had a british accent by sunday evening and was almost able to turn kylie into a fire-breathing, dragon dog with my magic wand which was really a wooden chopstick, which is probably why it didn’t work. but as it turned out scheduling did not require that we see harry potter and the order of the french fries, or whatever. in fact when they paired it with Ratatouille it caused us to have to trun around and go home because the line was literally about 10 blocks long and even tho we wanted to go to the other screen we didn’t want to risk a repeat of the fiasco that was opening weekend for disney’s “cars.”

anywaaaaaay.. because we are fully harry potter orientated now we thought we would get our money’s worth and see three movies for a change. we went prepared for a marathon 7-8 hour session, since transformers and harry potter and the sinister sequel, are both nearly two and a half hours. we took a ton of snacks & beverages, and m slept thru a big chunk of the transformers this time so she would be able to stay awake. then when the simpsons started up again, we were confused. i went to the box office to inquire about what i was sure was a mistake on their part. but nope, the plan was to show HP5 after they re-ran the simpsons at, get this… approximately 2:30 A.M.!!!

i asked the guy.. “so, the sun will be up before it’s over??” and the guy said, “you got that right!”

wtf?? what is the point of that? i don’t know who is running that joint but i think they’ve been hittin’ the pipe.

so needless to say (or maybe i do need to say because it’s not like we haven’t been at the drive in ’til dawn before) we didn’t stay. we considered showing up at 2:30 the next night just for the late, late, late, late show but really, we were never that into it. those movies are hard to follow, yo! there are too many characters with silly names and it’s kind of exhausting that absolutely everything has a magical element; the stairs move, the portraits talk, the candles float, people are constantly shape-shifting, it wears me out.

ok, that’s it for now. i still have to catch up on bitching about summer tv – in particular, dog & criss (i call tuesday’s “aneurysm night on A&E”) , and Ant on last comic standing (i want to set fire to his horrible toupee).

Can’t wait to see it at the drive in!

I celebrated the 4th of July at a true American institution.. the Kwik-E-Mart !

to promote the upcoming Simpson’s movie, twelve 7-11 stores across the country got a kwik-e-makeover and luckily surprisingly a denver location was selected. it was fantastic!

i had a squishee (not a slurpee) and i bought a bunch of crap!

Kylie went too!

The only problem is that it was a frickin’ freak show down there. it was packed, and they have security guards outside, and those poor employees dealing with the lookie-loos. of course they will be able to sell their kwik-e-mart employee shirts in a month on ebay for a nice bonus. so they were actually totally sold out of all the simpson’s merchandise. but one of the Apu’s told us that all the 7-11′s are selling the stuff so we just went to a different location which had some simpsons decorations but was otherwise normal and they had shelves full of “KrustyO’s” and “BUZZ cola,” but sadly no “DUFF beer”.

and just like with the Simpsons themselves, the magic is in the subtleties..

(it’s a container at the check out for donations to “Krusty’s Kids,” and it says “up to 7% goes to actual children”)

you should check out all my Kwik-E-Pics on flickr, especially you poor suckers who don’t have a Kwik-E-Mart near you!

anywhooo, happy 4th and oh yeah, The Simpsons Movie opens july 27th (felt i was obligated to provide that little plug).

i haven’t been to an official fireworks display outside of disney in oh, like 12 years because it terrifies kylie, aka chicken little. but there have been a lot of innovations in fireworks, or pyro-techincs, i guess. like the ones that after the initial explosion and all the oooohs & aaahs, re-ignite, change colors, and shoot off in all different directions – very cool! and kylie was hangin’ out at the cabin after a long day of climbing on rocks and having her picture taken so she was fine.

then on the 3rd we went to the drive in and saw “live free or die hard.” and i gotta tell ya, i have missed me some McClane! it is very entertaining as long as you don’t start down the road of “oh come on, nobody could survive that,” every time he emerges from the rubble like the terminator. that’s why it’s called DIE HARD, so either buy in or don’t bother. it was fun to watch!

then we stayed for the funnel cakes fantastic 4 and the silver surfer dude (i assure you the funnel cakes were the highlight). it was fantastically bad – and i don’t mean that in a good way. it wasn’t good bad, it was bad bad! it was really, really, bad!!! i could go into at least a few of the many reasons why it was so very, very, very bad (jessica alba’s weird skin/hair color combination, the really corny one-liners that just fell flat, the horrible dialog, the lame ass plot, the bad acting, btw, who is this guy playing mr. fantastic? omg, he sucks so bad it becomes distracting from the rest of the sucking thats going on) but it was so bad it really isn’t worth discussing why it was so bad. so that’s all i’m gonna say about that.

yes, i could’ve gone to see the transformers w/ evan almighty instead, and you would think that would have been the better choice, but (a) i needed to go pick up my car at the body shop anyway (and i’m getting closer to blogging about my car, the decepticon. – that reminds me, i gotta call the dealer and see if i can take it BACK there again too) and that was much closer to the other drive in; and (2) as i mentioned the plan is to see The Transformers inside on a big screen when the crowds have thinned. so i suffered thru the fantastic four and comforted myself with funnel cake.

no real plans for the 4th except maybe a trip to Springfield, stay tuned…

i’m not sure who to be jealous of… brandon because i can’t wait to see this movie, or the bots because they got to see brandon (even tho it was with the bad hair), or this hooker…

and of course brandon is still sporting his man-gagement ring, but wait.. what’s this???

it almost looks like she has him on one of those leashes that moms used to put on their toddlers in the mall. or is it a bracelet to prove he’s old enough to drink (cause sometimes it is hard to tell)? or did he escape from the psych ward to come to the premier? how odd…

so i looked at pics of other people at the premier..

josh douchehandle wasn’t wearing a leash or a man-gagement ring (oh yeah.. fergie dumped him. how embarassing). but it looks like he had a date with a dude (which might explain why fergie dumped him).

oh wait, that’s michael bay. he looks younger than i thought he would.

anywhooo… i can’t wait to see this movie! wait i already said that. but holy robots, it’s got a 100% from critics on rotten tomatoes!! granted there are only 7 official reviews and they’re probably all by geeky dudes in their 30′s, but wow! and it’s got 80% from users! (i’ll bet josh douchehandle’s performance is bringing it down) we’ll be seeing it in a theater, an actual enclosed, indoor theater where you sit in chairs not your car, but maybe not as soon as it opens. it may be the greatest movie ever but it’s not worth dealing with a bunch of teenagers!

in the meantime, we’ll probably be checking out John McClane (also getting surprisingly good reviews) and The Silver Surfer this weekend at the drive in.

honey, first you’ve got to get back to the barber!!

what the hell??? why doesn’t courtney do something about this??
they’re in china right now where brandon looks like a giant (a long-haired giant).

i actually watched superman returns last night for the first time in… eight months or so. i think i was jonesing for it because there have been commercials for it on cinemax on-demand, but i don’t have cinemax, plus there was a complete lack of anything rentable this week and as i mentioned the drive in schedules were not very accommodating. anywhoo.. it’s still fantastic & superman is still hot! but yes, brandon has let himself go. but whadda ya gonna do? it happens to the best of us, and he’s young and he’ll spend a few weeks, ok maybe months, in the gym and he’ll be back in super-shape.

ps: the funnier quote was from Steve Carell (which i guess is his job) when asked how to balance family life and a hollywood career: “I think highly caffeinated sports energy drinks are the answer.” maybe i should ask him what i’m doing wrong with the red bull!