so a couple weeks ago, for some reason Brandon’s name came up which is pretty rare, even around here, and i was wondering if he had cut his goofy hair at some pint, so I checked brandonrouth.com for the first in i don’t know, a year. and his hair was in need of a cut but not completely out of control, and there he was with Kumar who was all dressed up in suit & tie at the premier of the Harold & Kumar sequel. and i was thinking that Kumar was thinking, thanks for dressing up dude, that’s a nice t-shirt!

so then as the stupid summer show “fear itself” was coming on and m was asking ‘why are we watching this stupid show, when we’ve already determined its obviously written by 12 year olds’, and i was saying ‘ask the tivo, it obviously has nothing better to do in the summer’.. i was wondering if Brandon was getting any work so i had gone to imdb and noticed he had an upcoming television guest appearance on “fear itself.”

what are the chances??

anyway, the episode is on tonight and i guess it can’t be any worse than the previous episodes, like the one staring eric roberts (yikes).

oh Brandon, i know its tempting and i know “Superman: Man of Steel” is still only at the stage of “announced,” but puhleeeeze don’t start doing TV movies, especially on lifetime!

Ninja Warrior!! my new favorite show! it’s on G4, a channel created for geeky guys, with shows like “hurl” which is a show about vomiting (seriously), and soon i’m sure to be the home of “Ow, my balls!”

in the meantime, there’s at least an hour of Ninja Warrior on every day! it defies explanation really, but basically its the world’s most insane obstacle course, which may not seem that interesting but it is totally compelling! they start off with 100 contestants and usually only 5 or 6 make it past the first stage, which is a hundred yard timed course of crazy jumps and climbs and ropes and bars and climbs all over a pit of muddy water. on a good day, half of those people make it past stage 2 which is shorter, and also timed but you have much less time to do much more challenging tasks like climbing a ladder when all you have is one rung which you have to hold on to and throw your whole body up to hook the rung on the next notch where a step should be, then at the end you have to lift three walls and crawl under them, each one being heavier than the last one and starting at 100lbs. then there’s stage 3 which sometimes nobody gets through, even though they have unlimited time. it’s all upper body strength stuff like hanging by your fingertips on a ledge that’s only a couple inches wide and having to move down it then reach up to a higher level and back down to a lower level, it’s called the cliff hanger,then there’s the body prop and the pipe slider, and on and on. and if anybody survives all that, for the fourth and final stage they have to scale the center of a huge tower in 15 seconds then climb a ridiculously long rope in the remaining 15 seconds. they’ve been having this competition for 10 years and only 2 people have ever completed the whole damn thing! yet they keep coming back again and again and again to try again and again. and they keep making the course harder!! you can click here to go to G4 and play the video to see an american dude try to complete the whole thing.

then there’s the Unbeatable Banzuke and i don’t know what banzuke means but this much smaller obstacle course is definitely, usually unbeatable. there are different versions, sometimes it’s for unicycles, sometimes stilts, sometimes they have to walk on their hands over stairs covered with gravel or on moving conveyor belts, etc. it’s insane! usually they have 2 or 3 events per show and usually nobody completes the course. ir’s craaaazy, and i loooove it!

and now there’s a new show in america called, “I survived a Japanese game show,” we watched the first episode last week and it was hilarious!! those wacky japanese really know their game shows!

all i know is its keeping me entertained in the entertainmentlessness of the long hot miserable summer!

JJ Abrams is a prick! Oh wait, we already knew that!

Jack is a wussy moron! Oh wait, we knew that too!

Ben has a sense of humor? That was surprising!

But what was more important than what we discovered is what was concealed, or should I say cloaked… the whole f’ing island disappeared!!

and i laughed and laughed, it was awesome!

wait a minute… what do you mean it wasn’t supposed to be funny?

who writes this stuff??

i hear lots of LOST lovers hated it, but they got me.. i’ll be watching next season to see how they pull this one out of their asses! when will that be, btw? 2011?

hahahahahahaha!

blerg is also what i have to say about being a month behind in blogging! blerrg!! here’s the problem, house hunting took over my life. it was a miserable experience overall i have to say. i thought several times during the process that i should have started a whole new blog about it, but it would have been too stressful for me to write, and justkeeprenting.com would be no fun for anybody to read. long story short.. if all goes well (that would be a BIG IF btw) we close on the 30th.

and speaking of people who have no shame, here’s something else i almost missed..

this was taken after the miss usa pageant or something where his girlfriend / contestant, who you’ll notice is ironically wearing almost no jewelry at all, didn’t win and he went off. he yelled at everybody including donald trump – that part i’m ok with – and made quite a spectacle of himself. actually i’m ok with all of it.. knowing that criss angel’s downward spiral is officially underway makes me feel all warm inside!

what i didn’t miss is, “there will be milkshakes.” i mean, “there will be blood.” and just to state the obvious, Daniel Day-Lewis ROCKS!

i’m sure there’s lots that i have missed lately.. i wish i would have missed the end of rock of love II – ugh! so here’s the overdue, abridged version of my opinion on the whole train wreck.. with everything we learned about daisy, she’s been on her own since she was 16, her idiot boyfriend convinced her to become a stripper at 19, he got her knocked up, she got an abortion, she ALMOST has an excuse for her behavior and for her life. Ambre on the other hand was raised by a good ole’ southern family who taught her some values, she’s a big phony, who’s MY AGE for cryin’ out loud which means she’s old enough to know better than to run around lookin’ like a hooker and showing a washed up rockstar her couchie on tv!!
anyway.. i think he didn’t choose daisy because he knew she really WAS in love with him and ambre was just there for shameless self-promotion and he wanted to be able to get out of it asap. how else could he justify rock of love III ?! L-A-M-E !!watched the reunion tonight and i was proud of denver daisy for speaking her peace, and for being right about it. unfortunately that hellion heather made it impossible to get a straight answer out of bret by beating you about the head repeatedly. that dick sucker whore bag! anyway, i’m just glad it’s over; i feel cleaner, the sky seems bluer, the air seems fresher. besides i’ve moved on… i’ve watched a couple marathons of past seasons of america’s top model! it’s actually a lot less lame that i would have expected, and i’m pretty sure i now know everything i need to know to become a super model, which would probably make buying a house much easier, having a much bigger budget and all!

i’m sure there’s truck loads more that i did miss.. feel free to fill me in. i’ll be busy moving.. =( BLERG!!

(b) I KNOW !! i know it has been weeks, nearly months since i last blogged and i left up that hideous picture of, yikes, criss angel. i’ve been busy, ok? and i’ve explained before that sometimes i just get blogged out, and this has been a really bad case of blog-itis, ok?

it probably has something to do with the fact that i am still sooo not into celeb gossip, and i’m totally burnt out on the whole election debacle.

but as long as i’m here.. let’s see.. what’s on the menu today?…

oh, while i should issue an official thank you to the writers for settling their strike in time to bring back at least a few episodes of a few shows before season’s end. however, it’s somewhat too little too late, the damage is done. i am not proud to admit it but i am undeniably hooked on Rock of Love II, and i have to say the last two episodes have been stellar!

I thought the party was over when Angelique left, but then there was the ongoing saga of Kristy Jo. I was neither a KJ fan nor a hater, but I did love the way she had of pushing those hookers’ buttons! So when she left on her own terms (misguided though they may be) I said, game over, Kristy Jo just won! She really did rock Bret’s world and break his heart, because come on, neither of them are good enough actors to have pulled off that goodbye scene if it hadn’t been somewhat as Bret would say “heartfelt.” So the rest of those girls are now playing for second place at best! And Megan, left standing there with a slightly worse look on her face than she usually has (she always looks like she smells something fowl). I am a Megan-hater so this to me was priceless.

Then there was this week’s episode. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re in for such a treat – we meet the ex’s! Best of all we meet Daisy’s ex, Charles, and never have I seen a couple more made for each other (except maybe Bret & Heather). And meeting Heather sooo makes me wish I would have been there for RoL-I.

So today we were reviewing info & opinions about the show on televisionwithoutpity.com, where somebody had posted stuff about Daisy & how she used to go by Daisy Graves when she was in her boyfriend Edward’s band, “Seraphim Shock” (yeah, i don’t know). the post went on to include part of an article about the band where Daisy said she was a stripper at Shotgun Willie’s and how they had opened for Poison at Fiddler’s Green and how CC Deville was trying to get in her pants. And I thought.. wait a minute, aren’t both those places (shotgun willies & fiddler’s green) in DENVER?!? So we did some investigating, aka googling, and found the article that they referenced – it was in WESTWORD a local weekly events & lifestyle paper. But let’s not jump to the obvious conclusion.. So we googled Seraphim Shock, and of course found their MySpace page, which is also good for a laugh, btw – it’s heading reads, “Seraphim Shock – Denver, Colorado.” HOLY CRAP, Daisy’s from Denver!!

I can feel the property value of the house I have yet to buy dropping (that’s why i’ve been so busy if you must know – house hunting, is very stressful.).

the Westword article described Daisy, whose real name is not Daisy De La Hoya (guess she’s not Oscar’s niece after all), OR Daisy Grave, but Vanessa Mossman like this :
“Beside him is Daisy Grave, the group’s new bassist, and she looks, well, kind of like Daisy Duke if she had died and been dug up.”

hahahahahahahahahaha! and that was before she fucked up her face!

And by the way, the article is from 2004 and Edward mentions that he is 34! And I’m not going to call that old because I was also 34 in 2004, but seriously?? Time to give up the dream, dude, lose the soul patch and the botox (and the wife beater and wrist band while you’re at it) and get a job!

Ok, I’m done with that for now, but look out because next week they’re going to vegas and throwing stuff at Daisy’s head apparently! I can’t wait ’til sunday!

speaking of kookiness in colorado, there’s been plenty of that lately. we were determined to be “the most dangerously drunk state.” –woohoo! we’re number one! we’re number one! and in order to maintain our status it’s been on the news a lot lately that they’re trying to pass a bill or whatever to allow the sale of wine in grocery stores and to allow the sale of alcohol on sundays! god bless america!

oh and today i heard that leading the nation in suicides is las vegas. ok that makes sense. and 2nd?.. colorado springs! huh?! ok springers, you may want to focus a little less on the family (inside joke), and your rampant religious-right homophobia, and help people with their depression and self-esteem issues. just a suggestion.. denver was 8th on the list, btw. i bet most of those people were trying to buy a house.

just kidding! ok sorry, that was possibly in poor taste. guess i’m out of practice!

• Sawyer to Crazy John Lock after hearing that John was following the orders of “taller ghost Walt,” (and that’s a hilarious quote in itself) – “..and you didn’t ask any follow up questions?!”

hahahahahahahahaha!! Sawyer, this is why we love you! i wouldn’t go so far as to say you are the voice of reason on LOST but you are often the voice of the few reasonable people still watching this show. do you know how many times we have yelled that at the television while watching this lunacy? i say Sawyer for president! or at least he should overthrow doctor Jack ass on the island.

• Aubrey to Bret Michaels to qualify her statement that she is a really, really, really observant person – “I’m a karaoke host, I know people.”

hahahahahahahahaha! i don’t even know what that means but it’s hilarious! and she meant that shit when she said it! it was almost as funny as her falling on her sword for kristy jo and blubbering about the amazing gift she just gave when she wasn’t gettin’ a pass anyway!

• Me to my knitting teacher, ten minutes into the first class – “Knitting is hard.”

okay this isn’t really funny because it’s true! i did manage to knit & pearl my way thru my whole skein of yarn (and even learn a little lingo), but ummm, well, knitting is hard.

(1) we became fans of the pats back during super bowl 36 or 37, whenever john won his first big gaudy ring. they were playing st. louis i think, and after all of their players were introduced, they announced that the new england patriots wished to be “introduced as a team.” and since we’re girls, we said awhhh, and decided we were rooting for them! [you'll notice that for years now, presumably since then, individual players do NOT get introduced. nobody wants to look like assholes, there's no I in team after all!]

(2) marty’s favorite team is the patriots (remember marty?[sigh] i miss marty.. i miss hockey.), of course, he’s from boston, so i know when the patriots win marty is happy. and if marty’s happy, i’m happy! although i can’t say i’m so happy about him having retired and becoming the donut king of florida, but i digress..

(c) it would have been nice to witness history. besides its not like the giants are anybody’s underdogs, no new york team is ever truly an underdog (except the islanders). it wasn’t like it was their first time around the super block!

anywhoo.. what’s done is done, but here are some observations of other key elements of the big game:

• when did pro football players get so metrosexual? regardless, i think this explains the next issue, which is..
• since when is there “red-carpet coverage” for the frickin’ super bowl?!! with ryan seacrest?? really?!!
• best commercial – the budweiser clydesdales, when the dalmatian helped the horse who didn’t make the team ala rocky. very cute! there were a few others that were pretty funny but i’ve already forgotten them so obviously they weren’t that good.
• how come i know every word to every song that tom petty & the heartbreakers sing? i had no idea..
• the real winners – the puppies. PUPPY BOWL IV on animal planet was awesome! far more exciting than the football game. seriously, it’s the best damn thing ever!

she was in the car with that sam lutfi guy, former manager slash hanger-oner, as they approached her house she suddenly got out of the car crying, carrying her poor yorkie named london (Brit must have got that british accent from the dog), and uncharacteristically asking the paparazzi to leave her alone, which of course they did not. she sat down on the curb crying, supposubly called Adnan, her boyfriend slash stalker, begging “baby, can you come pick me up.” but before he arrived she had gone inside and when he got there he was denied entry. he tried calling all SIX of Brit’s cell phones but no luck. he was getting text messages from Sam that because he is a “manic trigger” for Brit he needs to leave her alone. [ah-ha!! that's intervention speak.] so the police were called to the premises either to get him to leave or to get all the paparazzi to back off because of course they were swarming and so were the helicopters by now.

oh! funny story… last time the choppers were overhead, nearby neighbor, george clooney said he thought there must be some escaped convict roaming the hood. he was a little concerned. then when he learned his proximity to britney’s house, he was a lot concerned, he apparently had no idea and reportedly is now planning to move – soon!

anyway.. back to the crazy.. so it had already been reported that Britney’s mom, Lynn, and dad, Jamie (hence the name and fate of poor little, Jamie Lynn Spears) were both in town – odd since Brit has had nothing to do with either of them of late. well, they were both at her house, as was her best friend slash cousin, Alli.

so personally, i think it’s INTERVENTION time! and obviously they wouldn’t want Adnan, the leech slash bipolar-enabler to be there. tho apparently they did eventually let him in – i’m guessing they caved in to Brit on the issue, which does not bode well for their intervention technique – plus they took her to Long’s Drugs and while I personally really miss shopping at Long’s Drugs, I’m pretty sure you can’t get PROZAC over the counter, at least not yet. so we’ll see how it goes…

oh.. funny story.. turns out jeff vandickhead, one of the primary interventionists on the show “intervention,” is not even an addict — he’s just a churchy!!! he got his training at some church program! what a crock! and i thought i couldn’t hate him more. but that does explain why he seems drunk himself half the time.

–you didn’t think i was going to discuss the presidential address did you???

the wii has been a big help however i’m finding i have a bit of a motion sickness issue with a lot of games, which is just fantastic – yet another symptom of an aging genX-er. like that elebits game, which is award winning and i certainly see the appeal, you get to trash the place and shoot at little things that sound like kittens (which, ok makes me feel a little guilty), it’s fun, but about 15 min in.. Buhlaaah! currently i’m struggling with soul calibur. we read that it helps to chew gum while you play so i am but i’m barely coordinated enough to walk and chew gum let alone chew gum and try to kick some dragon’s ass! fortunately it only makes me a little nauseous, not like i’m gonna hurl. but i digress..

where was i? oh yeah…

PLEEEEEAZZE! you have to compromise at some point because i just can’t watch american gladiators. but people are, and they’ll watch big brother, so the networks will not lose any sponsorship or money. you sadly do not have the bargaining power that you should. i mean i hate to tell ya but dave, and john, and stephen are doing just fine. you’re gonna hafta bend!

for chrissake, i’m looking forward to LOST – and i hate LOST!! So Pretty Please, With Sugar On Top??! make a fucking deal! {openly weeping}

ok, the truth is, as tony soprano would say around superbowl season, “this is my busy season,” so something’s gotta give and blogging is among the first to go, followed closely by sleep and personal hygiene (just kidding – mostly).

PLUS, since i posted that hideous picture of scary man rourke, everytime i come to my own blog i get scared and i have to go take more of my homemade prozac and take a nap.

besides, there’s been a serious lack of blog-worthiness “stuff” going on in the world. let’s see…

in tv, we’re just counting the days, or the episodes rather, until we’ve run out of new material, which really sucks. especially since Heroes JUST got back up to par after a very slow start. this week’s episode was AWESOME!! with noah getting shot in the eye and all. m pointed out that we love noah so much because he’s our new “spy daddy.” just like jack bristow, back when Alias was good, HRG protects his own with a vengeance and perhaps more importantly, he gets shit done! he doesn’t stand around whining about it, he just takes care of business and is not afraid to pull the trigger. except suddenly when it comes to mohinder.. omg i hate mohinder! it was my friend j’s suggestion that they should shoot him, bring him back to life, shoot him, bring him back to life, shoot him, bring him back to life, repeat as needed until he stops being so fucking gullible dumb! dude, how many people did you help sylar kill?? i hope sylar gets his powers back and eats your brain for breakfast, oh and i hope he eats the mexican good & evil twins’ brains too – they’re so annoying!!! whaaaaah! my mascara runs and kills people! tho i have to say if we spent 6 weeks watching them run for the border, and wtf is taking so long btw, just to have them end us as sylar-snax, that will be pretty annoying too. but it all needs to happen in the next two episodes because that’s it! that’s all she wrote – literally!! i’m really going to miss 30 Rock too, but survivor and amazing race have been fairly entertaining, which is good because reality tv is soon to be the ONLY tv. bhleck!!

next, movies – i got nothin’, not much time to watch movies lately. saw The Departed for the second time now that its on hbo. it was much easier to follow the second time and therefore i liked it even more. it is such an awesome gangster movie. love all those boston boys! oh and finally saw 1408 – “blockbuster exclusive” my ass! it is actually sincerely scary – not the whole time, not the whole thing, but more than most. there’s been lots of good stuff in theaters lately but who has that kind of ca$h? but at least there will be decent rentals in 4-6 months, which is good since there will be no tv and no drive in.

as far as gossip goes.. dog’s still a racist, criss angel is still a douche, and britney is still bat shit crazy! and i honestly haven’t heard anything about anybody else. except of course standing in line at the check out when i always get updated on how angelina lost a baby and brad has been sneaking around with another woman while jen is still sending him psycho ex-girlfriend type emails. hmm… maybe they’re just the only three celebrities not currently in rehab.

that’s it, that’s all, i got nothin’ else…

well maybe it will be an exciting turkey day. although when i think of thanksgiving i don’t particularly think excitement, i guess we’ll just have to wait and see…